These past few days, I’ve been so bothered about my genealogy, I’ve been gorging on raspberries. These have yielded some unusual turds to say the least. Yesterday, it all started with one that was loose and full of seeds, sort of like raspberry jam. This morning, I woke up and excreted a pile of small dry nuggets. Later in the afternoon as I was laying a log, I happened to read in the newspaper that they were casting dancing bears for the circus.
Needless to say, I jumped at the opportunity and hightailed it to Hoboken. I waited for hours in a tent with other bears from all over the world. There were some seasoned pros, let me tell you. Most of the bears had managers and agents and lawyers and dieticians and spiritual advisors. All I had was my God-given talent and some gumption.
The audition piece they called was a personal favorite: the Macarena!
I danced it like I had never danced before. My big furry paws seemed to move as if guided by a divine force. And when it came to the part where I shook my hips, I really let ‘em fly. It was about that time when it became evident that I had been slowly leaking a sticky seed-filled substance down the backs of my legs.
For some reason, I didn’t get the job – the judges must have had shit for brains.
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1 comment:
It must suck to be an unemployed bear!
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